The Twenty-First Century Introvert's Guide to Friendship

1. Keep in touch through your web stats! Nothing shows you care like a random link for your friend to find buried in the “Referrers” section.

2. Invite people to movies or shows as often as possible. That way, scary conversation is minimal, and afterward you have a topic! Shows with multiple sets, extra-long movies, or double features are an especially effective way to say “I both enjoy and fear your company!”

3. Blame substances for your awkwardness. Addiction is far more socially acceptable than an embarrassing deficit of social grace. (“Oh, my hands are shaking? Those pesky DTs! Hahahaha....”)

4. IM is clearly the best forum for serious personal discussions. Avoid misunderstandings with a liberal sprinkling of emoticons!

5. Reach out through song! Make your friend a mix filled with songs that you love and hope she can “read between the lines” to hear how much you really care.