I Never Get Anything This Good from Sudafed

A.L. Kennedy, author of the novel Original Bliss and the recent collection of short stories, Indelible Acts, wrote a bizarre and funny little piece for the Guardian about sinus medication, the Iraq war, and Jesus [Thx, The Fold Drop].

My conditioning asserts itself, or my limbic area constricts, who knows: but suddenly there's Jesus, completely visualised. And he looks just the way I've been led to expect - Middle Eastern robes, sandals (a good sign, surely) and that delightfully Aryan combination of blue eyes, fair skin and flaxen hair. He even has his arms extended at that come-unto-me angle, except he seems, well, scary. Then he speaks.

I won't spoil the rest, but it is quite funny.